Aro/Ace/Agender Representation

Hi! I talk a lot in my marketing, especially on Tumblr, about asexual, aromantic, and agender representation in my books. I thought I'd talk about this a little, as my rep might not be for everyone, but is based on my experiences and understanding of my own identities.

First off, what does it mean to be ace (asexual), aro (aromantic) or agender? Fun fact, I have a presentation that talks about being ace and aro! Find it here on Canva. I took the time to create a really pretty, informative presentation in one of my grad school classes, and rather than reinvent the wheel, I'll point you at that! Take a couple minutes and peruse that, then come back for agender :)

Okay, hopefully you skimmed through that presentation. Now, being agender is similar -- it involves a lack of understanding of or connection to gender. Many people either never think about gender, or just don't have an opinion. Others think about gender a lot, and can decide that they are a different gender than the one assigned (transgender) or may decide they are the gender they were assigned (cisgender -- no, cis is not a slur, it's simply a descriptor, meaning I identify with the gender that I was assigned at birth). You may have also seen the terms AFAB, AMAB, and AGAB (not to be confused with ACAB, which is about the police, and not gender). AFAB = assigned female at birth, AMAB = assigned male at birth, and AGAB = assigned gender at birth. Again, descriptors that help those who think about gender a lot speak more clearly about the subject.

I could get into gender deeply, but that's not the point of this post. Let's just go with men "feel like men", women "feel like women", and agender individuals "feel like neither". In my case, I simply Do Not Like gender. I think it's a socially designed concept, and my AGAB has nothing to do with the way I look or the things I like or what I do. I'm just ... me. Many other agender individuals feel similar ... they have no connection to or understanding of gender. If you want to talk more about gender, shoot me an email, or find me on social media (I can be found on Instagram or Threads or TikTok. Gender/sexuality is a special interest of mine, and while I am not an expert, I have many thoughts and a good bit of knowledge. Just uh, don't come @ me with hate pls. I'll just block you.)

Now, what does this have to do with my writing? Well, each of my original books include a character who is ace, aro, or agender. Euwenn Gilmore (Unbreakable) is asexual. Delle Eckles (Finding Home) is aromantic and agender (but not asexual). Lisa Beckett (Appalachian Hearts & Rescue) is aro, ace, agender. Each of these characters have experiences with their gender that is similar to mine. Primarily -- and what might upset some aromantic readers -- each of them wants to be in a committed relationship.

There is a ton of validity in the fact that many aros don't want to be in romantic relationships. As mentioned in the presentation, many are romance-repulsed and/or simply have no desire to engage in romantic activities (the definition of which, frankly, still confuses me). For instance, Delle was married at one point, and is interested in pursuing another committed, though not super romantic, relationship. Li was in a few short-term relationships, but got out of them because their partners were not understanding of how they related to sexuality, romance, and gender. Li is, however, interested in a relationship that includes cuddling and non-sexual touch (such as hand-holding). This might annoy some aromantic readers. For that, I am sorry, but there's my disclaimer.

Now, on the other hand, there might be people who are turned off from the Unbreakable series, or the others, because there's an aspect of getting-together in each of my stories. It's important for me to let you know that romance is not part of the plot of the Unbreakable series. Yeah, there's friends-to-couple dynamics, but it's just ... there. It happens organically and isn't really part of the tension that's going on in the story.

Now, Finding Home is primarily about the getting together of my main characters. However, in my opinion, the "romantic tension" isn't really ... romantic tension. There's a lot of action (reminiscent of a police procedural, but less ... procedural) and tension, but that comes more from the mysteries that the characters encounter.

Appalachian Hearts & Rescue is a unique set up, because it features a pre-established polyamorous trio, who then welcomes a fourth into their midst, as a relationship partner to one of their own. It features a wide variety of queer rep, from a transfemme character to our aro/ace/agender gremlin.

One other thing about queer rep in my books: it's not a main source of tension either. For the most part, the queer individuals are not struggling with their identities, angry about them, or suffering from a lot of homo/transphobia (there's a bit, for flavor, but it's not a main source of tension). I did this on purpose! I get a little tired of media where the queerness is the main source of tension. I want to see queer characters living their lives, rather than constantly fighting that battle. It's a form of escapism and hope.

Alright, well, I've rambled quite a bit here. I hope that was somewhat informative. <3 Poke me, I'd love to hear from you! <3